At nearly-87, Dad decided to take one of our “Cultivating Purpose” workshops with our MEA co-founder Jeff Hamaoui and master facilitator Lori Schwanbeck.
One of his key lessons is that his purpose can change with time, but his personality doesn’t have to. At the same time, he learned that his personality type – wanting to be the aggressive boss – has a shadow side: not listening to and empathizing with others. I’ll “Chip-ify” something he said to me, “If you’re not listening, you’re not learning. And, if you’re not learning, you’re not living.” So, one of Dad’s greatest lessons of the week was cultivating how to listen better and ask generative questions.
Dad and I have a common purpose, helping marginalized kids, pre-teen and early-teens, find their purpose. He’s been volunteering in Silicon Valley doing this and I did it in the Tenderloin long ago and created a foster son relationship with a biracial kid, Damien. Damien’s oldest son, Deshawn, now has a 5-year-old (my foster great grandson) who lives in Albuquerque and, after months of not hearing from Deshawn, he texted me last week. Perfect timing as I’m more motivated than ever – after experiencing Dad’s infectious purposefulness – to help Zaeshawn, Deshawn’s son, find his way.
There is no fountain of youth, but there is a fountain of purpose. Blue Zones’ founder Dan Buettner and I have talked about the fact that purpose may be the second most important variable (after social connection) for helping someone live a long, healthy and happy life. Research shows that older adults who maintain a sense of purpose experience higher levels of psychological well-being, better brain functioning through neuroplasticity, and more resilience.
Purpose isn’t about public acclaim for your legacy. You don’t need your name on a building. You just need your fingerprints on another human’s heart. Whether you’re mentoring, volunteering, taking up a hobby with someone else, or becoming a political activist, just know that a great purpose fits you like a comfy pair of shoes. You wouldn’t find someone else’s shoes as comfortable as your own.
Our next MEA “Cultivating Purpose” workshop is in Baja Sept 30 – Oct 5 with one of our most seasoned MEA facilitators Thérèse O’Neill. It’s my favorite time of year to be there with the warm ocean, breaching whales, hatching sea turtles right in front of our campus, and a very green desert.
-Chip