What I do know is that involuntary retirement hit me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden it felt like I was invisible. Was it the gray hair? My newly laminated Medicare card? Some pheromones that shout obsolescence?
I had spent the better part of the past 50+ years working — from babysitting to working in a doctor’s office (remind me tell you about the time an intact cyst that had been carefully excised from the patient’s scalp bounced across the floor), from television executive (the glory days of cable tv) to business owner and then poof. I was a good worker. I liked to work. Actually, let me rephrase that, I loved to work. What’s not to love — intellectual stimulation + validation + remuneration = a grand slam.
It is as if I am being punished for decades of hard labor. This makes no sense and the most troubling aspect of my newfound status is that I have no idea what to do with myself. Shall I once again reinvent myself to attract clients or should I take cooking classes and give myself permission to read during the day?
One might think this is the most enviable position to be in but I’m at sea and can’t find the lifeboat. Sure I have interests — I like to exercise, cook, read, travel, knit, watch TED talks, socialize, do all kinds of puzzles, etc. And, yes, I volunteer. But, I’m without a North Star, offering a beacon, a direction, a purpose.
As an avid researcher (don’t think there was a Girl Scouts badge for that), A few weeks ago, I found myself on MEA’s website and signed up for a complimentary Fireside Chat with Chip and Pam McLean PhD, the Chief Knowledge Officer and Co-Founder of The Hudson Institute of Coaching,
It was a very rich conversation about the ‘Bonus Round’ with many actionable takeaways or in keeping with my alliterative ways – resolutions. The framework of the discussion was on experimenting in search of meaning and on moving from stagnation to generativity with intention, curiosity and the great newfound gift of being able to reject forays that just don’t hit the spot (can you say chainmaking?). Chip shared the rubric of exploring things that you are passionate about, agitate you, incite your curiosity, or heretofore been neglected e.g. a childhood hobby. And Pam spoke to the concept of living in shoes that are too small. A wakeup call for sure to push past the barriers and throw caution to the wind. If not now, when?
A real AHA for me was the vulnerability of the ginormous audience with people attending from all over the world. With 11k adults turning 65 every day, there’s quite the community of people, many of whom also seem to have been buying shoes a size too small.
It is my hope to discover a new North Star or several North Stars as I embark on my Bonus Round. I suspect some days I will rebel and some I will rejoice. Thank goodness I am discovering resources that offer some exciting resolutions.
-Karen
Karen Ticktin is a born and bred NY’er who spent her career as a brand strategist with clients in healthcare, entertainment and everything in between. When she’s not charting her Bonus Round, she volunteers, helps her daughter’s friends with their resumes and cover letters (pro bono of course), and works out like a dog.