Imagine embarking on a whimsical odyssey, almost like Frodo, the famous character from The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien, but with less hairy feet and no ring to toss into a volcano. This is the tale of a 10,000-mile trip from Kenya to Santa Fe, NM, not for glory or gold, but in the noble quest of self-discovery and finding my tribe. If you have read Henry David Thoreau’s book Walden or Life in the Woods, you might remember one of his famous quotes: “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
Since starting coaching in 2018, I have heard my drummer leading me to a transition coaching beat. This is perhaps because I have gone through many transitions in my life, most of them without substantial support, and the conviction that nobody should go through transitions without support if I can help it. Even as I have coached in this space, I have always felt the need to know more and be better equipped to support my clients.
This curiosity to understand what transitions are and how to deal with them – mine and for my clients – landed me on Chip Conley. I saw a promotion for a webinar with Chip Conley & Alex Pascal, the CEO of Coaching.com, to discuss transitions. I registered and attended the webinar and knew by the end that I had found my person! I immediately went to MEA’s website and registered for their upcoming 8-week virtual workshop on ‘Navigating Transitions,’ and as the weeks went by, I knew I had found my tribe! I had never experienced before a space where people brought their authentic, vulnerable selves into conversations, and judgment was suspended. Instead of judgment, there was understanding and support from fellow participants.
The incredible facilitators of Kari, Chris, and Jeff brought different insights each week. They held the space for us participants to have conversations. I hadn’t found many people out here with whom I could have them. For example, during the physical transition session, I could express my frustration with alopecia, my mortal fear of anybody seeing my uncovered head, and how all that made me feel. It was a profound revelation: I wasn’t alone in my bodily battles. It was a veritable buffet of human insecurities, from weight woes and joints that no longer take instructions to wrinkles that laughed in the face of expensive creams. etc. It was beautiful to feel validated and to know I am not being vain but just a human being doing the best with my body and, more importantly, learning to love it with compassion.
In the spirit of continuing to listen to my drummer, I decided to go to Santa Fe for the ‘Homecoming Weekend in May 2024’. I wrestled with the idea. A lunatic leap, some might say. Who else darts across 10,000 miles for a weekend shindig with strangers in a land known only through the annals of Google Maps? Thus, to justify this madness, I booked a second event, a workshop by the illustrious Steven Forrest titled ‘Evolutionary Astrology.’ Two birds, one whimsical weekend, and an insightful week.
Cue the chorus of confused friends and family. “You’re heading where? Doing what? Have you lost your marbles, or is this just an extravagant display of menopausal rebellion?” To which I’d reply, “Consider it my symphony in the key of my midlife crisis.” And what a symphony it was! A crescendo of camaraderie with Chip Conley and team, a sonnet of self-discovery under the tutelage of Steven Forrest, and a finale of finding myself amongst the awesome Compadres of the Flower Moon cohort. I feel more confident about coaching and talking about transitions, with the added advantage of having kindred spirits I can call upon, all thanks to MEA!
This odyssey, marked not by dragons or rings of power but by an inner quest and Google Maps, imparted one crucial lesson: dance to your beat, even if others question the music. After all, it’s your dance floor!
-Mercy
Mercy Githanji is an ICF-certified Professional Coach and an organization development practitioner. The British-educated Kenyan native runs her own consulting and coaching practice and is on a mission to ensure anyone needing support during transitions gets it. In addition to her coaching work, Mercy is also an event planner, facilitator, and blogger.