In the messy middle of my life, I went through a divorce, an empty nest (number four left for college), moved to a new city, downsized from a 5400 sq. foot home to a 750 sq. foot apartment, got remarried, and my first two grandchildren were born.
Although I felt freer than ever before in my life, I was full of guilt over the divorce, moving away from the town where the grandchildren were living, and not being the dutiful GiGi. I was a devoted mother to my four children, and they grew into amazing adults, but at 48 years of age, I was now a grandmother with new responsibilities.
Nine grandchildren later, for a total of 11, with four bonus grandchildren that my husband brought along, the next generation grew into 15 kiddos. In addition, during that time, I dramatically changed my career from selling cosmetics to marketing hospice services and later to senior living. By the time I emerged from the messy middle, I had a new career and 15 wonderful grandchildren.
I didn’t know the term “messy middle” until 25 years later when I arrived at the Modern Elder Academy in Baja, and believe me, I identified with that term immediately. I lived through it and emerged as an older, happier woman; you could say I got my wings! But I still carried some guilt about not being the rocking chair grandmother.
The children’s book “The Way Grandmothers Are” was born from that experience. I wrote it months ago, and with the help of an outstanding illustrator, it has come to life. The truth is it is a children’s book written for grandmothers. The rhyming text describes the vast array of grandmothers, including diversity of race, religion, size and shape, careers, and talents. From the cookie bakers and daycare providers to the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, from ranchers to FBI agents, they really, really love their grandchildren. I hope it enlightens the grandchildren to know they are loved deeply and tells grandmothers everywhere they are here to inspire their grandchildren in unique ways, even if they are not holding a baby in a rocking chair.
The timing could not be better. Grandmothers have been in the news lately. As usual, women are bound by expectations and roles that others want to create for them. There is plenty of room for guilt if you take it on. So, no matter what kind of grandmother you are, I leave you with the last page of the book:
Your grandmother has faith in you and wants you to achieve
For all the dreams you have in life, you know she will believe
Always remember the thing that forever will be true
Is that your Grandma will always really, really, really love you!
I’m incredibly proud that Governor Laura Kelly of Kansas wrote an endorsement for the book. She’s not only an outstanding governor but a devoted grandmother.
The book can be purchased at www.JustNowOldEnough.com. It also comes with a free activity book (PDF) that you can enjoy with your grandchildren.
-Connie
Connie Mason Michaelis is a two-time MEA alum, seeker, and author.
P.S. As Connie writes here, our sense of purpose can evolve as we age. I love this Yahoo Finance article from MEA faculty member Kerry Hannon amplifying this topic. If you’re curious about how you could pivot your career into a more purposeful direction, check out the workshop she mentions in her article (being co-led by Marci Alboher), Crafting Your Encore: Finding Purpose, Passion and a Paycheck in Your Next Chapter Nov 11-16 in Santa Fe.