Tangled Up in Words
Tangled up in thoughts,
tangled up with you,
and you, and you, and you.
Tangled up with money,
tangled in success,
in failure, in food, in work.
Choking myself with rope,
I think it will save me,
I think, I think, and I think.
Tangled up in thoughts,
and now… waiting to untangle,
waiting, waiting, and waiting.
Do you hear that noise,
and the quiet peeking through?
Sanity, it’s been here the whole time.
Wide Open and Listening
Wide open,
unpreoccupied,
you see Nothing.
There’s no story,
there’s no self,
no hero watching,
nothing to do,
let it all go.
Witness for yourself,
if just for a moment.
That’s all you need.
Then return to your story.
Resume your self.
What will you retain?
Are you renewed, refreshed,
bigger, softer and kinder
from what you have seen?
Nothing is here,
if just for a moment,
the secret revealed,
a glimpse of nothingness,
hiding in plain sight.
Then it’s back to a story.
Have you been changed?
Will you stay true?
There’s so much to do.
Please stop and wait, watch and listen.
Even your breath can hide the truth,
Nothing is urgent and nothing matters.
Don’t misinterpret these words.
Don’t interpret them at all.
There is something here that is Nothing.
That is to say, Nothing exists,
and it holds everything.
Only for a moment,
if I am not preoccupied,
when I am wide open,
when nothing is personal,
Nothing is revealed.
Hiding in plain sight,
Nothing is revealed.
Fortunate to sit here now,
watching and listening
to nothing necessarily.
So you’ve had a glimpse,
What have you done with it?
This Terrible Feeling Inside
When it attacks, it likes to dig in. Here in my body, it appears first in my chest, throat, and gut. As I notice and name it, it nimbly moves, changing shape and form, filling my head with troubling thoughts, until it morphs again into worry and fear. It has my full attention now. I struggle to cope, to find myself and move under its weight. Heavy, dark and powerful, it paralyzes my will and blurs my vision.
So what! This terrible feeling will not define me. Blinded, I persevere despite craving to escape. I move one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one minute at a time. I stretch and practice, filling my lungs with breath, move my body, change a thought. I’ll dissolve this “malignancy” with compassion and self-healing, as I repeat these words, Nothing lasts forever.
-Kevin
Kevin Gordon is an MEA alum and 35-year New York small business serial entrepreneur. He has been meditating, practicing qigong, studying Eastern philosophy, and writing poetry since 1985. He is in the process now to become certified as a Midlife Transition Coach, a CASAC Recovery Counselor, and a Health Coach specializing in lifestyle medicine and complex trauma. His eventual plan is to join a health and recovery related adjacent startup.