So, I got some face time yesterday with the “From Strength to Strength” author who’s been a big fan of MEA and will be co-leading a workshop with me this August in Santa Fe, in the land of Spanish and Catalan, two languages that Arthur learned as an adult.
I enjoy Arthur’s column in The Atlantic and told him I particularly appreciated his recent piece “The Benefit of Doing Things You’re Bad At” as it’s so aligned with MEA’s ethos. One of the subtle, but important parts of an MEA workshop is to help people experience something new that they might not have tried on their own whether that’s surfing, horseback riding, improv, karaoke, baking bread, hiking a peak at sunrise, jumping in a cold pond, and, of course, speaking from what we at MEA call “the third vault,” the essence of who you are beyond your facts and stories.
Arthur acknowledges that it isn’t easy trying something new. He says, “The reason we hate being bad at things and failing is because when goal-directed activity is inhibited or blocked (either by an outside force or our own lack of aptitude), that stimulates our dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, which is part of the brain’s pain circuitry. This is the same region affected when we experience social rejection.”
My own experience is that we adults need to be foolish more often, less self-conscious, and more open to having a sense of humor. When you move from your fixed to growth mindset, you open up so many more possibilities in your life. It can also be exhilarating and a great way to create deeper connections with others who are similarly making fools of themselves.
Scientists acknowledge that our perception of time changes as we age. Researchers explain that a year represents 10% of a ten-year-olds’ life but just 2% of a fifty-year-olds,’ in part because we gauge time by memorable events. The more such events, the slower time passes, but because we often have fewer new things to remember as we age, life seems to accelerate its pace. When the passage of time is no longer measured by “firsts” (first kiss, first day of school, first family vacation), the weeks begin to run together, stitched by recurrent and unmemorable daily tasks. Introducing novelty into your life will make those memories stand out. This is why the best way to slow the passage of time is to become a beginner again.
-Chip