My friend Vanda and I were talking about the word “disillusionment” recently. This word has a bad rap as it means to lose faith or trust in something for which you had an illusion. But, if you had an illusion, maybe it just means that now you’re seeing reality with 20/20 vision. As children, we experienced that deflating reality when it came to Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Today, some of us may have felt barmecidal about our company, country, family, and even friends. Maybe it’s just a wake-up call for what’s true.
There’s another story about the Emperor With No Clothes. In the story, a vain emperor is tricked into wearing invisible clothes that mean he’s stark naked. He wants to believe in the illusion that everyone will admire his new wardrobe in the town parade, but ultimately, he’s laughed at by the townspeople, who can see he’s caught in an illusion.
One of my mentors, Jack Kenny, used to ask the direct and poignant question, “What are you pretending not to know?” when facing someone believing their own BS. Midlife is when we should ask ourselves and our closest friends this question to evaporate the fog that has separated us from reality. Isn’t it ironic that when our vision starts to fail in midlife, and we need glasses, our ability to see our illusions improves?
So, I ask you that same barmecidal question, “What are you pretending not to know?”