- Are you working with people who could be the age of your children?
- Is your gut instinct growing as quickly as your gut size?
- Do you slip into “organ recitals” (body complaint sessions) with friends far more than in the past?
- Do you feel like you regrettably don’t have time for seeking curiosity or awe in your life?
- Do you now consistently choose comfort over fashion when it comes to your clothes?
- Did you know what “Harold and Maude” was without having to Google it?
- Do you still call it “Ecstasy”?
- Are most of your favorite film actors and actresses younger than you?
- Have you started to learn that most of your painful life lessons were the raw material for your current wisdom?
- Have you become obsessed with farmers’ markets and estate sales?
- Do you long for an affair or just a low-risk, high-flirty friendship to make you feel hot again?
- Are you finally emotionally comfortable in your own skin (just as it’s started to sag)?
- Have you traded in your tennis racquet for a pickleball paddle?
- Are you noticing that you have at least two of the following physical qualities: thinning or graying hair, gaining at least ten unwanted pounds in the past five years, starting wearing reading glasses, or feeling winded doing physical things that were a cinch a decade ago?
- Have you become obsessed with gardening and/or home improvement TV shows?
- Do you believe that life begins at 50?
- Do you feel more emotionally moderate due to your growing emotional intelligence (or your faithful pot or alcohol addiction…be careful of “dimming” yourself)?
- Do you long to invest in deep friendships once again if you feel a little disconnected?
- Have you started wondering how much money you’ll need to save for retirement?
- Have you occasionally wallowed in the sentiment that “my best years are behind me,” but you’re starting to grow out of that?
If you scored five or less, you’re probably younger than 35. If you scored 6-10, you’re making eyes at midlife, even if you think midlife is beneath you. If you scored 11-15, I hope you find midlife more of a chrysalis than a crisis. And, if you scored 16-20, you own your age, for good or bad, for real or for wrinkled.
P.S. I was honored to be asked to write an essay for Maria Shriver’s “Sunday Paper” on creating a ritual for turning 50. I hope you enjoy it. If you’re curious about midlife, I hope you’ll consider joining us at MEA for a workshop or our new “re-fresh” program or pre-order my new book, “Learning to Love Midlife.”