There is an art in living. It lies in our ability to create more joy and contentment in our everyday lives. It is something that we must cultivate and practice. Our lives need tending and nurturing, like a beautiful garden.
There are many tools to cultivate the art of living. One of them is breath. By taking a deep breath and pausing, we can slow down and quiet the mind, giving ourselves a moment of gentle kindness.
The media saturates us with bad news – a never-ending cycle of heartache. It feels as though we are trying to maneuver in a world that has gone mad, with violence, heartbreak, and absurdity.
And life is hard, a formidable foe presenting challenges requiring strength and resilience. None of us are immune to life’s sorrows. Horrific things happen – accidents, illness, death, and destruction can strike at any time. It is often devastating and may require an enormous amount of will for us to move forward.
To further add to life’s sorrows and challenges, small and unpleasant everyday occurrences can happen. We miss the bus or get cut off in traffic, receive an unexpected bill, spill coffee, drop groceries, forget appointments, have friends forget our get-togethers, or our computer crashes. The list goes on.
These minor occurrences and inconveniences can lead to a range of emotions. We may react and be overly upset, annoyed, sad, or angry. Of course, these feelings are valid, but they may stem from other contexts: the news, life’s sorrows, past grievances, or feelings we carry about unrelated instances. If we let these other factors dictate our reactions, we are at risk of more pain and heartache for ourselves.
Victor Frankl, a renowned psychiatrist and writer, endured the harshest and most evil of conditions – brutality, starvation, physical and emotional abuse, and humiliation – in four different death camps during the Holocaust. He concluded that individuals could find purpose and seek meaning, even in the most extreme suffering. He emphasized choosing attitude over circumstances.
According to Frankl, between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. In this space, we can adjust our attitude and resulting actions.
We find a similar message again in Buddhism. One Remembrance within the Contemplations known as the Five Remembrances states, “My actions are my only true belongings.” This Remembrance takes us more deeply into self-reflection and understanding. It reminds us that the only thing we control is ourselves. Control of our actions can create calm in chaos, joy in little moments, happiness during challenges, and peace in every moment. It is both a reminder and a comfort to realize that our actions shape our journey.
These insights from Frankl and Buddhism remind us that our attitudes and actions are all we can control. We can gain transformative power when we open up space for this control.
Embody this power with a simple practice – take a breath, pause, and choose to respond rather than react to circumstances. Of course, I’m referring to situations that don’t demand immediate life-or-death reactions.
Though seemingly small, this simple practice is immeasurable. Slow down, take a moment, and let the situation resonate. Pause and reflect. Reflecting allows us to be more measured in our actions.
How does this help? Our ability to control our attitudes and actions helps us navigate life circumstances. It enables us to let go of the small challenges and have more capacity and control to take on the big ones. This control is where our power resides, shaping our journey, and allowing us the freedom to align with our true selves. Let your breath be your guide.
Open up space. Give yourself some grace. Breathe.
-Mary
Mary Mandell, M.H.Ed., is an Idaho-based yoga, meditation, and breathwork instructor, and an MEA Alumni. She can be found on Instagram: Yogaforgood_id