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Home isn’t a Place, It’s a Feeling


We’re born into circumstances beyond our control. So many of us feel a little alien in our family of origin. We appreciate and love them, but feel a little like an oddball in the community where we were reared.

Over the course of adolescence and early adulthood, we make our way and, through trial and error, start to understand the habitats that make us feel comfortable and vital. I realized in my early 20s that working for Morgan Stanley investment bank in New York didn’t feel quite right so I took a job paying me one-quarter the salary with a maverick real estate developer in San Francisco. And, my closest friends weren’t MBA’s, but artists. Once again, it’s not the place, but the gut feeling that tells us whether we married the right person, live in the right community, or joined the right company. What’s right for me isn’t necessarily right for you.

Organizational psychologists call this “environmental mastery,” the ability to effectively manage and shape one’s external environment to meet personal needs, achieve goals, and maintain well-being. It’s one of the many reasons why life gets better with age: we know what habitats will give us a sense of  psychological well-being.

Bali and Baja are places that gave me that sense of transcendent comfort. And, now, after my fifth trip to India, I can confidently say that this is a place that gives me that same “home away from home” feeling. They say “home is where the heart is” because the places that most feel like our perfect habitat allow us to love more freely, both ourselves and others. 

Where in the world do you have that feeling?

-Chip

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