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How I Learned to Make Love at 63.


In my sophomore year of college, I took nine months off after receiving my real estate license so that I could work for my uncle’s successful commercial real estate brokerage company in Silicon Valley. Mind you, this was 1980, so there were all kinds of fruit orchards gracing the land of what would become the high-tech capital of the world.

I was 19 years old and pretty much out of place amongst this Glengarry Glen Ross crew that one-upped each other with the size of their monstrous Mercedes and big-ass BMWs. But they were all one-upped by Charlie, the 6’3” (without her stiletto heels) platinum blond singular female broker in the office who was a force to be reckoned with. 

Charlie made me feel safe, and she taught me everything I needed to know about Dale Carnegie’s landmark book, “How to Make Friends and Influence People,” somewhat of a relic of a book in today’s era of hyper-authenticity. But, back then, it was a bible for real estate salespeople. Charlie once told me that for a gal like her, she, sadly, occasionally needed to live by the creed “How to Make Love & Influence People” to close a deal. She seemed both proud and ashamed of this fact. To be honest, the whole experience working in this environment – while making me very curious about real estate – made me depressed about society’s relationship with money. 

Recently, amid my “manopausal” night sweats and fever dreams due to my ADT (androgen deprivation therapy) for my spreading prostate cancer, I thought of Charlie and realized that this mid-40s bombshell was a modern elder to me. And, in many ways, I’m now embodying her creed about making love and influencing people. No, I’m not having sex to close deals. I have no desire for sex with just 1% of my normal testosterone level in my body. I’ve become a bit of a monk and am learning to get comfortable with that fact at this stage in my life. 

But, I dare say that I endeavor to “make love” for a living. With my MEA colleagues, we do our best to create a safe crucible for our workshop compadres to feel that love is their real currency. How we make, share, and receive love may be the most sacred experience of what it means to be human. And, in a world as agitated as ours is right now, love is what’s scarce, and what’s scarce is what’s valuable. 

So, at 63, I’m learning to make love like never before. And it sort of turns me on!

-Chip

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