In midlife and beyond, it’s easy to settle into routines that feel familiar and comfortable. Over time, though, these routines can start to feel like a rut, leaving us feeling like we’re living a “life-stale” instead of a fulfilling lifestyle. In this phase of life, we have a unique opportunity to reimagine what a vibrant, meaningful life can look like. Here are a few ways to shake things up and create a life that energizes you instead of one that just maintains the status quo.
The first step is to adopt a “beginner’s mind.” This concept, borrowed from Zen Buddhism, is all about seeing the world with fresh eyes—approaching it with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to learn. While it can be tempting in midlife to think we’ve seen it all, a beginner’s mindset invites us to remain curious, to stay engaged with the world, and to treat every day as a learning opportunity. This might mean trying new hobbies, exploring interests we’ve long set aside, or even traveling to places that stretch us beyond our usual environments. When we open ourselves up to new experiences, we keep our minds agile, our spirits engaged, and our lives dynamic. I learned Spanish and how to surf in my late 50s and am about to take up juggling.
How could you assure that you’re always a beginner in some part of your life? Ten years from now, what will you regret if you don’t learn it or do it now?
Another powerful way to avoid a “life-stale” existence is by cultivating intergenerational friendships. Often, our social circles consist of people within our own age group, which can limit our perspectives and stymie our personal growth. By intentionally seeking connections with younger (and older) people, we open ourselves up to fresh ideas and different ways of thinking. Younger friends bring enthusiasm, new skills, and modern cultural insights to the table, which can be incredibly invigorating. At the same time, our own life experience and wisdom offer value to them in return. It’s an exchange that benefits both sides, fostering a sense of mutual respect, curiosity, and continuous learning.
List your top five intimate friends (no family) and their ages. How many of these are at least 10 years older or younger than you? On average, most mid-lifers find that only one friend is outside that 10-year band on either side of their age. It’s time to branch out.
Purpose is a critical factor in creating a fulfilling life at any stage, but it becomes especially meaningful as we age. In our early years, we’re often driven by external motivations—career advancement, family responsibilities, financial goals. In midlife and beyond, there’s an opportunity to redefine purpose from the inside out. Instead of asking, “What do I need to do?” ask, “What makes me feel alive?” This is a chance to align your days with activities that feed your soul, whether that’s mentoring others, creating art, volunteering, or simply spending more time in nature. Purpose keeps us moving forward, motivated, and engaged, transforming our days into something deeply meaningful instead of merely functional.
Here are four shortcuts toward finding your purpose: something that excites you, agitates you, makes you curious, or feels neglected from earlier in your life when you were passionate about it.
Physical movement is another crucial factor in living a vibrant life. As we age, it’s easy to let physical activity slip down the list of priorities. However, staying active doesn’t just benefit our bodies; it has a profound impact on our minds and emotions, too. Whether it’s a daily walk, yoga, or a sport you love, regular movement keeps energy levels high, lifts our spirits, and helps prevent the kinds of stagnation that can easily lead to a life-stale mindset. And, how might you mix Play with movement whether it be dancing each morning to start your day (check out Daybreaker), playing a regular game of pickleball with a group of friends, or learning to master the Hula-Hoop. Long ago, Plato wrote, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
How might you see moving your body as something other than running on a treadmill or slavishly getting your 10,000 steps in? How might it be that opportunity for you to be playful and exuberant like a little kid? If you want to go to yoga, might you check out a Laughter Yoga class.
Finally, whether you’re coupled or not, keep in mind that long-time relationships and friendships can get stale if you don’t stir them up. I was in two long-term relationships that lasted twenty years in my 30s and 40s and then had a rollicking dating life in my early 50s. But, when I was ready to settle down and get into another relationship – that hopefully would last the rest of my life – I shifted my question from “Who’s the ideal mate?” to “What are the ideal conditions I want in my life and who can I co-create that lifestyle with?” This made a big difference as a filter because I knew that I wanted to live part-time in Mexico, spend time with my sons in Texas, start-up MEA so it’s important to be with someone who has their independent passions, and create a home with someone who was more domestic than me. Fortunately, I knew – from past experience and our 11-year relationship – that Oren was the person with whom I could co-create that lifestyle.
Do you and your spouse or partner have a congruent idea of your ideal lifestyle? If you’re single, what are 4 or 5 non-negotiables that are important to you with respect to the lifestyle you want to curate and how can you use that as a filter when you meet dating prospects?
-Chip