It wasn’t all about reminiscing. It included being honest about where we are today and what we aspire to be. But, most importantly, we laughed…. a lot! I felt more connected than I’ve ever felt in a church. And I felt surrounded by love with skin on. These are my peeps. They knew me when I was known as Steve Jr., not Chip. They witnessed my evolution from a self-conscious introvert to a clownish, ambitious extrovert. And, I’ve been their enlightened witnesses as well.
Heaven is a new pair of glasses. And, that’s what I was donning during those 3-days. There were folks who were less popular who’ve become super-successful, but they admitted that they might still be harboring some resentment toward the “soches” (the social, successful high school classmates). There were others who felt stuck in a personality from Long Beach Poly high school as if they were wearing shoes that were a size or two too small. What a joy to see the liberation of my friends – some of whom I hadn’t seen in 40 years – based upon MEA’s programming. I loved experiencing fireside singalongs with this group.
God may be bald. Or, at least, my high school best friend – who I used to look up to as my god – is bald and I’m pretty close to being there as well. Alan Mouchawar was someone I deeply admired when we were growing up. He was a natural. Great in school. An All-American in sports (an Olympic water polo player, swimmer and baseball player). And, a dashing boyfriend to one of my closest friends, Jill. Alan seemed to have it all. But, some folks resented (or envied) Alan – I just wanted to be more like him. We were recruited to play Stanford water polo together. I played a year of high-grade water polo as the slowest guy on the team and joined a different fraternity than Alan. He became pre-med while I was pre-biz. The friendship that had been so foundational for me during my teen years evaporated.
While we very occasionally stayed in touch digitally, the fact is we probably hadn’t seen each other in more than 30 years when we connected in Santa Fe. He with his Jewish wife Jeanine and me with my Israeli husband Oren. Wow, did we laugh, play, and feel a new sense of connection. This is a photo of Alan and me at our Ridgetop Rally with the 4-square miles of our MEA ranch campus in the background and I’ve added a svelte photo of the two of us from our high school water polo team.
True friends are never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart. The whole group of us agreed that changing our habitat – not doing a reunion in our hometown of Long Beach, California – helped us to change our costumes. Being in the high desert helped us to shed or molt some of our identities which allowed us to be more truly and essentially who we are today.
Just remember, friendship is a practice. You can get better at it over time if you take certain steps to develop the practice of being a better friend. Who might you send a text to today that you haven’t chatted with in years? How might this rekindle a friendship that deserves to be a core part of your life moving forward?
Thanks to Ken Hardy, the husband of a high school classmate, for a couple of these photos at the ranch including this stunning one just above. Gorgeous time of year to be here.
-Chip