“Sounds like you may have Asperger’s” were the words that my therapist uttered to me in March, 2017. The diagnosis was confirmed a short time later. To be 56 years old and diagnosed with Asperger’s provides a new lens through which to look at your life—both the life you’ve already lived and the one that is yet to come. And with half of my adult life ahead of me, I found myself looking ahead to a new, exciting chapter, and at a time when guidance and meaning were more important than ever.
Being diagnosed was really an epiphany because I’ve always known I’ve had quirks but never had a label for them. With a diagnosis, I’ve been able to educate myself about it and come to a better acceptance of it (Asperger’s) and my quirks. Plus, I’m in good company: A search for others with Asperger’s included Alfred Hitchcock, Andy Warhol, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Mark Twain, and Darryl Hannah to name a few.
Discovering Meaning
On my journey to learn more about myself (and thanks to a random date who took me to see Chip speak in Novato, California), I happened upon the Modern Elder Academy and applied. Attending a week a few years ago, with a cohort called the ‘Ever Darlings,’ I have to say it was the most profound week of my life.
Part of discovering meaning during my time at the Academy was reflecting on my past. I was always bright, but never received guidance because of the environment I grew up in and teachers who didn’t understand what they were dealing with. With a new lens on my past, now I know that I didn’t fail the schools, the schools failed me. Instead of continuing to believe that I failed the system, I’ve taken my new lens and committed to educating myself, maintaining a growth mindset, and better understanding and contributing my gifts. Since attending MEA, I no longer feel disenfranchised.
The Shift
Since leaving MEA, I have a different outlook on life. I realize that between my Buddhist training, the countless seminars and courses I’ve attended, and my commitment to learning, I have a lot to contribute. It was a shift in my perspective and self-perception that made all the difference. MEA gave me the confidence that what I know is valid and valuable. I don’t have to be youthful any more, but I can be useful.
With a new outlook and growth mindset, I’ve changed my habits and work relationships to be even more valid and valuable. For example, at the gym, I now watch Master Class episodes while on the exercise bicycles. I also maintain my thirst for reading, adding several books referenced in the MEA workbook to my reading list. Keeping this growth mindset is one of the biggest take-aways from MEA—to keep developing myself every day.
A Profound Coincidence
“Her second passion was for the Buck Institute for Age Research, where she was vice Chair of the Board. Devoted to basic research into causes of aging and to results that will extend the healthy life span, Catherine was an enthusiastic pillar of Marin County, involved in conservation, the arts and the preservation of Marin County’s history.”
Ironically, this is the last paragraph in my mentor’s biography from the Marin County Women’s Hall of Fame.
The Buck Center is where my friend took me to see Chip speak in 2019.
Coincidence??
Catherine was my mentor—I met her in 1993 when I was broke, newly sober, and needed a place to live and work. She guided me by example through work ethic and dozens of dinners. Although I left her employ in 2006, her lessons are coming clearer and clearer every day. I get to stand on her shoulders. We remained friends until her passing 10 years ago.
It took time at MEA, and most recently visiting the rainforest with MEA guest faculty member Lynne Twist, for many deeply buried insights/lessons from Catherine and others to come waltzing into my conscience. The insights were there, but I wasn’t!
The Biggest Baja Aha
My biggest “Baja Aha” was to trust in randomness. Looking back on my life, it became apparent that the most significant events in my life have all been random—from meeting my mentor to being taken on a date to see Chip speak. Approaching each day with curiosity is part of the new lens to look at life, but to also live my life.
In 2017 a life-changing diagnosis of mild Aspergers at 56 years old put me on a journey of self-discovery.
-Rick
Rick is a Marin County, California native and is a 34 year veteran real estate broker. Rick is a two-time MEA alum who is often found riding his Harley-Davidson, which gives him the freedom to explore the county, engage in critical thinking, and appreciate the beauty of Marin. He also enjoys music, West Coast Swing dancing, reading, and meeting friends at Marin’s many quality restaurants and social venues. As of September, 2024 Rick is working fully independent under his name and broker’s license.