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Getting Real with “Real-ationships”


Margery Williams Blanco’s classic children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit,” offers an insight that ought to be plastered on every midlifer’s bathroom mirror, “Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off.”

As a nearly-bald guy in his mid-sixties, I can relate. Of course, with or without hair, it’s easy to feel shabby and worn out as you get older. Fortunately, with receding hairlines and all the sagging bits and bobs of our aging body comes the perspective and the wisdom to know how beautiful life can be when we finally become the person we were meant to be all along and to celebrate that with others.

How wonderful it is to finally (at long last) venture into the timeless world of the heart and soul. After all, this is the natural progression of aging, which is perfectly captured in the full excerpt from “The Velveteen Rabbit,” the story of a stuffed rabbit’s desire to become real through the love of his owner:

“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

I’ve been fortunate enough to spend this past week in Iceland with my partner Oren getting real while hanging out in hot springs. I’m taking a vacation from the blog this week and, starting tomorrow, have curated six guest blog posts from MEA alums who are getting real when it comes to their relationships. Let me say it’s going to be a zesty week with stories of divorce and new love, creating a real relationship with oneself, and the exploration of sexuality with some graphic, poetic details. I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy it. Let’s get real together!

-Chip

P.S. I had a conversation with a restaurant server here in Iceland the day after the Presidential debate. She’s Hungarian and hilarious. She said, “America has ‘electile dysfunction’ and it’s no surprise that these two bad candidates were talking about their handicaps at the end of the debate because they have a lot of handicaps.” Ouch! That’s how one person in the world is viewing our current political situation. 

P.P.S. Speaking of getting real, I’ll be getting real in an online fireside chat with Maria Shriver on July 9 at 2 pm PT. Are you feeling stuck or uncertain as you navigate the transitions of midlife? So many of us can experience a loss of direction or purpose, but here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to be this way! 

If you want to turn midlife into a period of growth and renewal, join us for an exclusive live event with me and Maria Shriver. You’ll receive insights and practical advice to help you thrive during this pivotal stage of life in this episode of Conversations Above the Noise with Maria!

PLUS: Our friends at Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper PLUS are offering a free one-month trial to experience her VIP membership community! Simply click here and use promo code CHIP to receive your free one-month trial. The only way to access this special online fireside chat is to sign up for the free trial. I hope to see you in eight days as Maria is one of my favorite people in the world full of “moral beauty.”

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