That American pursuit of happiness is a muthafucka! Just when you thought you’d captured that shiny object on the horizon that you’ve been longing for, it doesn’t feel quite as valuable in the palm of your hand. It’s why we trade in our cars, our spouses, our jobs, and, if we’re not careful, our happiness. In the end, pursuing happiness doesn’t ensure happiness…in fact, quite the opposite.
Whereas happiness may be circumstantial, joy is a state that bubbles up from inside you, regardless of the circumstances around you. Midlife is when we start to realize that happiness often does not consist of the gratification of our wishes, whereas joy is an internal state that isn’t dependent on external factors.
Despite the societal perspective of midlife being filled with regret, frustration, and melancholy, it’s typically the period when we experience more contentment and joy. This is not because problems evaporate but because we develop resilience, accept life’s unexpected twists gracefully, and take pleasure in the pure, simpler aspects of life.
I’ve always loved the premise of joy which is why I called my boutique hotel company Joie de Vivre and why, for our 20th anniversary as a company, we created a Joy Party inviting 10,000 Californians with the name Joy to a party at our Hotel Vitale with the first 50 who RSVPed receiving a complimentary luxury hotel room. We had more than 300 Joys from age 8 to 88.
Writer and poet Khalil Gibran suggested, “Work is love made visible.” Clearly, Khalil wasn’t cleaning bedpans at the nursing home. But, he’s got a point. No matter what our circumstances, we can show our humanity and our love. And, if we do that, joy may emerge in the most challenging of times.
I believe that MEA is joy made visible and I’ve certainly experienced that this week with our first LGBTQ+ MEA workshop in Santa Fe and, based upon this lovely photo below, that’s what bubbled up in Baja last week with our second Black Modern Elder workshop. These two workshops – celebrating Pride month and Juneteenth – were full of joy.
What are you doing to percolate your joy?
-Chip