This topic is so meaningful to me that chapter 7 of my book “Learning to Love Midlife” is dedicated to helping readers understand how their story serves them. For those of you who’ve been in workshops where we’ve done this exercise, you know I always say that this subject deserves a full workshop, not just a couple of two-hour sessions. Well, now we have a full workshop dedicated to this.
At Richard Rohr’s MEA workshop in Santa Fe last summer, we talked about the natural progression of change which is order, disorder, and reorder. This matches author Ben Katt’s framework that he introduced in one of my favorite books I’ve read in the past year, “The Way Home: Discovering the Hero’s Journey to Wholeness at Midlife.” Ben describes it as Leaving the familiar (order), Falling into the unknown (disorder), Rising to wholeness (reorder). Here’s how he articulates it in the book:
- Leaving the familiar: Leaving the familiarity of the false version of yourself that you’ve settled for, whether it be achiever, antagonist or escapist. This is your impostor identity and whatever form it has taken, it becomes apparent that it no longer fits. This first phase represents the initial interruption, unraveling, and separation from life as you’ve known it.
- Falling into the unknown: Unable to depend on the former version of yourself and the world you had constructed, you become vulnerable, confused and lost. This phase involves a series of confrontations as you must undergo the death of who you thought you were in the struggle to reclaim your heart.
- Rising to wholeness: You’ve recovered your heart, but now you must meet the challenges that come with reintegration into the world of everyday life, relationships, and work. You are reborn – and grateful for it – but need to figure out your new place in the world.
While Ben and my workshop next week “Discovering the Hero’s Journey in Midlife” (Jan 27-Feb 1) is nearly full, we have a couple of spaces left and my definition of midlife is very expansive: 35 to 75.
-Chip
P.S. Tomorrow, I’ll be joined by MEA’s new CEO Derek Gehl to talk about How to Be a Better Leader in a free online fireside chat at 11:30 pm PT in which I’ll talk about two of my leadership books, PEAK and Wisdom@Work. Hope you can join us.